The renewal of contact with the plaintiff created tension in the minor, which was also expressed in the reported difficulties surrounding sleep, when she was supposed to rest and lower her defenses.
It is not impossible that the minor heard about the plaintiff from her mother and those around her, when it is not clear what was said and mediated to her over the years, and whether her sudden disappearance was burned into her body and soul as an experience of abandonment. I base my impression on a number of meetings, including watching a single meeting between the minor and the applicant, which took place after a long period in which the two did not meet. In these meetings, I was once again exposed to a narrative according to which I can assume that the minor grew up, and it is the one that tells her about a significant period in which she lives in the arms of her family today. It is impossible not to get the impression that the life story of the minor in her family is completely different from that held by the plaintiff."
- With regard to the significance of the absence of signatures on parenting documents, the social worker notes (on page 8 of the report):
"One of the most significant conditions for the order, if not the most significant, is proof of the couple's joint intention to bring a child into the world and raise him together. This intention can be proven by jointly signing a joint purchase of a sperm unit at the sperm bank and/or signing a joint declaration of intent before the parents, signing a parenting agreement, etc.
In addition, as a rule, the application for a parenting order must be submitted close to the date of birth. In light of the importance of creating a match, as much as possible, between the reality of the child's life and the legal reality, it is important to submit the application for parenthood as early as possible.
Moreover, in situations in which a person raises a child for a long period of time whom he sees as his child but does not act for the purpose of arranging his parental status, despite the constant messages from those around him that he is not recognized as a parent (he cannot sign official forms regarding the child, cannot take him to the doctor without a power of attorney, and so on), fundamental questions arise regarding the commitment to the child and whether it is an obligation that stands on its own. or a commitment that depends solely on the marital relationship..."
- The conclusion that arises from this is that as far as the minor is concerned, the plaintiff is a figure from the past, who has not been etched in her memory as a parental figure, and her absence does not arouse any difficulty for her.
The defendant's conduct did indeed create an expectation in the plaintiff for the continuation of the relationship, since it is possible that the plaintiff relied on her promises that the relationship with the minor would be maintained, and therefore she did not see the need to prepare documents that would define her status as a parent. It is also possible that the minor felt the tension and for this reason she was afraid of meeting her. Even if the defendant's conduct toward the plaintiff is unfair, the best interests of the minor at the center of the proceeding must be examined separately, as opposed to the question of fairness between the plaintiff and the defendant.